How to Talk to Your Children About Ukraine
The war in Ukraine continues to be a worldwide issue for everyone. More than 5 million refugees have already fled the country and attacks continue on a daily basis. It is likely that your children have heard or seen something about the conflict and they may have questions and concerns about the war.
Here are some tips for discussing the war with your children:
Find out what they know and listen to their feelings
It’s a good idea to listen to your child first to find out what information they already know. They may have heard something from friends, in school, or seen a picture/video on TV or social media. Explain to them that this is a serious conflict and that you understand the emotions they are feeling. It is normal to feel worried, sad, and angry. Both children and adults may feel this way. If they are having trouble voicing their feelings, suggest writing in a journal or drawing pictures instead.
It’s important to not dismiss their feelings and to discuss world events in an age appropriate way with them. You can also monitor what they are watching and reading to help avoid false information and explicit content as well. Remember that your children are always listening so monitor your own conversations as well if you are feeling angry, upset or scared by the war.
Explain what is happening to clear any confusion
You and your child can have a quick history lesson together. Show them where Ukraine and Russia are located on a map and review a basic historical timeline of the countries. This will help your child try to process why the current events are happening. If appropriate, depending on the age, discuss war terminology as well (bombing, attacks, battles). It is good to share your opinion and to allow time for your child to share theirs as well. Communicate that you are glad to be having this conversation with them and allow them to ask any questions they have. Although it can be difficult to talk about world events like this, it is important. There aren’t always answers, but you can explain that many people are working to end the war.
It is also a good opportunity to explain to your child that, although Ukraine is under attack, it does not mean that people from Russia are villains and bad people. This helps to remove stereotypes and any negative feelings towards a certain group of people.
Encourage finding ways to help others
Help your children recognize the helpers in this situation. Point out that people inside Ukraine and all over the world are taking actions to help Ukrainians. Your child might feel more empowered if they can also contribute in a positive way. Explain to them that there are many ways to help and make a difference, even if it is small. Search for aid organizations and start to raise money by doing crafts or having bake sales. Finding a way for your child to fundraise will show them that they can help out. Have your child write a letter or send a package to military members or veterans. You can even search for volunteer programs that will allow your child to join.
Monitor for high anxiety
Finally, watch for signs that may indicate significant distress, such as abrupt changes in eating or sleeping habits, irritability, inability to focus or a preoccupation with violent media. If your child begins to show signs of significant stress or anxiety, reach out to get them extra help. Pediatricians, teachers and school counselors can help you assess the level of distress and provide resources and support.
Visit the following links to help Ukraine:
International Rescue Committee