Some conversations are hard between parents and their children, even in the closest families. Parents are responsible for teaching kids about the risk factors surrounding alcohol and drugs, and preparing them as best as possible for the unknown. It can be overwhelming thinking about the enormous task of guiding children toward their best path, but there are many things parents can do to educate them. Here are some valuable tips on how to get started.
It’s Never Too Early to Start
Utilize “teachable moments” while you spend time with your kids; they continuously absorb information around them. As exposure to media becomes more accessible at a younger age, it’s up to the parents to keep up with what children know and help guide them by listening and paying attention. For example, engaging with them in a show or movie of interest keeps you in the loop of current media exposure, and allows for an organic opportunity to discuss their growing perspective. Discuss with them how to set boundaries and make better choices for themselves, and back up your words with real-life examples; remember, they’re always watching! Making daily talks with your kids a habit can maintain communication and help you do things together as a family.
Keep It Real and Keep an Open Mind
Teens benefit when parents remove previously unspoken assumptions about what kids may already know. Because teen exposure comes from school and peers, asking open-ended questions about what kids are learning is helpful. Begin with questions and be non-judgmental; asking them to share with you lets them know you’re paying attention to their thoughts and possible concerns. Connect with their curiosity rather than try to impart your wisdom to keep the conversation going. Don’t be afraid to ask specifics on what they’ve learned. For example, you could ask, “Have you noticed kids at your school starting to experiment with drugs or alcohol?” and “What are the most common drugs kids at your school are doing these days?” If they do share upsetting information with you, keeping a calm demeanor can be helpful in your teen opening up and sharing.
Set Boundaries for You and Your Teen
As kids get older, it’s natural to see them push back on parental rules as a way to gain more independence. Behavior changes affect all teens in these developmentally vital years. It is common for teens to have big emotions and some moodiness during puberty and in these transitional ages.
Studies have shown that transparency about expectations and house rules helps provide the structure teens need. Express your values clearly and be specific about what is and is not acceptable household behavior. One rule to consider is allowing your teen’s friends to spend the night but specifying that no drinking, smoking, or vaping is permitted within that space.
Given these natural developmental tendencies to strive for independence and test limits, parents should keep the California Social Host Liability Laws in mind, and discuss with teens the consequences that can follow. Per host law, parents are essentially responsible for any damage or injuries resulting from events hosted on their property, whether they permitted illegal activity or were unaware of the situation.
Adolescent brains are still developing, and there are high risks associated with substance use. Communicating concerns and facts without turning the conversation into a lecture will significantly impact your teen’s perception and limited experiences. Adolescents face numerous trials and pressures regularly, and giving them direct structure regarding parental expectations creates a safe space for them to depend on.
It’s Okay to Ask for Help
Sometimes it goes beyond having a conversation with your kids, and there may be an underlying family history of addiction or substance use disorders. Knowing one’s family background and including your kids in the facts provides them further reasons for making smarter decisions. Encourage your kids to reach out to a trusted adult, such as a school counselor, teacher, or relative. Neither you nor your kids are alone in their journey toward a long, healthy life!
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